Conversations

“Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone.”
Colossians 4:6 NLT

I majored in English language studies. Not learning English as a second language. But looking at the history of language, the way people talk, why we use certain words, how men and women communicate, how toddlers/children learn how to talk, communication and conflict. It was bordering on psychology and anthropology, yet also overlapping to communication studies, body language and spacial stuff.
I actually enjoyed my degree, it was interesting. But I honestly don’t think I’m the greatest communicator. Yes I know all about it. But it doesn’t make me great at it.

The interesting thing is, though we may have a hard time communicating with one another, God can still use us to speak (or not speak!) To share stories, to encourage, to witness to, to bond with one another through quality time.
I can kind of relate to Moses, in that Moses had a speech impediment.
Wow! Ansy has a speech impediment?
Only a little! Sometimes I stutter, but it’s nothing someone would consider a huge problem.
I stutter when nervous, only stutter a little. And when I’m really nervous [like when I’ve thought about what to say, and am waiting my turn to share it to the scaryish group] my voice sounds different.
But I liked how God still used Moses to be a leader and to change the history of the Israelite slaves.

Which brings us back to the above verse. It's not how good or bad you are at talking. As long as you glorify God though your words, by default it can be gracious and effective, offering a right answer for everyone. And to glorify God, you need to ask yourselves “Is what I’m saying about ______ glorifying to God?” “Is this edifying?” (edifying meaning to strengthen and encourage each other and building them up).

Recently at a social gathering, a friend had invited a friend to join us. You automatically knew she was a non-believer, by the way she spoke-words of pain and hurt, explicit words, words that would tear someone down, words that innocent children wouldn’t know what it meant, words that would make any mother cover her child’s ears.
“Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.” James 3:10 (NIV)
It can really make a difference when you meet someone who has language that is pleasant, praising, and just gentle without curses. It really makes a different.

Or let’s not get into swearing. Something as basic as gossip can be far from gracious and effective [in the positive sense!]

In my degree we came to a conclusion that communication can tear someone down, or raise them up. Tearing someone down can spiral deeper and deeper, ending up being a continuous cycle into the deep abyss (or something worse, it can end physically dangerous). Whereas when you raise someone up through words-it can have such a massive positive effect.

It’s a good reminder to be on your guard to have decent conversations, seasoned with good flavours, rather than flavours that can knock someone out. KO style.